Many divorcing parents have serious concerns about the effects of custody and moving on their children. While divorce affects children of all ages, children in middle school and high school experience greater vulnerability. The idea of divorce generally affects children detrimentally, and as a result, moving to a new home, attending a new school, and having to make new friends may cause trauma.
Custody and Moving Considerations
Divorcing parents should consider the impact on their children of choices regarding custody and moving. Take into account their feelings about the loss of long-term friends, familiar neighborhoods, and schoolmates before making these decisions.
While children’s needs are not the only factor affecting a delay in custody and moving, they may be the most important. Several other of the many reasons for delaying those decisions could include:
- Medical conditions affecting either spouse or children
- Financial issues
- Responsibilities of either spouse for care of a child or relative with terminal illness
- Real estate market conditions contributing to the ability to sell the marital home at a fair price
- Imminent relocation by either spouse due to job responsibilities; they may choose to delay custody and making any moves until finalization of the relocation.
Cohabiting in the Marital Home
Some couples may continue living in the marital home until the children graduate from high school, or resolution of other circumstances. They may delay custody due to a child already suffering from emotional issues, fearing any discussion about custody could inflict additional trauma. Being separated yet living in the same house can be awkward, but it may work well under certain conditions for couples who put forth the effort to make it work.
Financial issues cause many divorcing couples to delay decisions regarding custody and moving. They often cannot afford to live separately. Although the marriage is irretrievably broken, they continue living in the marital home because neither can afford to move. The burden of child support/spousal support may be too great to pay rent elsewhere. Instead of leaving and struggling, the parent remains in the marital home and tries to make the best of it. This solution can only work when the parents avoid fighting and arguing with one another. Children are happier with their parents in the same house only when the parents can get along.
Are You Considering Divorce?
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Some couples may continue living in the marital home until the children graduate from high school, or resolution of other circumstances. They may delay custody due to a child already suffering from emotional issues, fearing any discussion about custody could inflict additional trauma. Being separated yet living in the same house can be awkward, but it may work well under certain conditions for couples who put forth the effort to make it work.
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